Hospitality professionals are trained to be responsive. In the front of the house we’re trained to respond to every guest’s needs, and create satisfying, memorable moments for the people who visit our businesses. In the back of the house, cooks are trained to respond to the relentless call of orders coming in, reacting to the tickets, the chef and the myriad guest requests. This responsiveness is an intrinsic part of hospitality and both BOH and FOH work in tandem to make their guests feel happy and fulfilled. It’s a skill that is honed daily in our employees and is a sought after trait in our new candidates. We’re steeped in being responsive to others.

From my seat as a coach I see that this responsiveness sometimes becomes so strong it knocks other skills out of the ring. This is an example of what I like to call a “Popeye Arm;” a strength that has become overpowering. These managers are so responsive that they become less of an initiator. They end up not standing up for themselves and then feeling taken for granted or even resentful. So I work with them to help them build up their muscles of initiation at work.

My highly responsive clients report that at work they’re often uncomfortable initiating conversations about themselves, their work and their future paths, which leaves them on the sidelines. And, conversely, owners and bosses want and need their leaders to be empowered and feel fulfilled by their work and jobs, and, most importantly, to demonstrate initiative. In my experience responders report that they:

• Associate initiating with “showing off” so are less likely to demonstrate pride in their accomplishments; but then report feeling overlooked by their supervisors.

• Are quick to come up with ideas for initiatives at work but then fail to do what it takes to see their plan come to fruition. They have good insights but actually saying “let’s do this my way” is hard to do, thus they are seen as having little follow through.

• Are so other-centered and task-centered that their needs and insights get lost in the shuffle.

With my coaching clients I always assign “homework” which is comprised of little awareness games at work. In order to become more of an initiator I ask my clients to do 3 simple things while on the job:

1. Initiate Sideways: Reach out to others at your level to let them know what’s on your mind. People who are responsive often are trained to listen so this exercise helps responders build the habit of actively connecting with their peers in order to open up, be heard and let others in; while also deepening connection and trust.

2. Initiate Upward: I always tell my coaching clients to “make it easy for your boss” and initiation is the way to do so. By initiating contact and communication with your supervisor you demonstrate a willingness to have your efforts seen and acknowledged. I often recommend sending a “status report” which recounts the activities you have been engaged in so that your efforts are acknowledged and you can account for your time and progress (aka: initiatives). Sharing a “status” is very different than “showing off” since it creates positive results by shining a light on your accomplishments and growth.

3. Initiate Outward: Take up space at meetings. Come prepared, create an agenda, or ensure something you are committed to is on the agenda and then give a status or report on your progress. By taking up space and initiating discussion with others you are asserting yourself on your team. This sends a positive message of commitment and professionalism to the others you work with daily.

As with any new skill (or muscle), initiation only gets better and stronger with use. So put your ideas forward, share who you are and demonstrate how you’re spending your time in order to be seen and acknowledged. One little spark can make a huge flame; your career and future are worth the effort.