Talking to Strangers
We often think that regulars are the lifeblood of the restaurant business, and they are. But strangers are at the heart of hospitality. In restaurants we regularly welcome, feed and even entertain people we are meeting for the first time; this is the very definition of hospitality in action. It’s common for restaurant employees to gravitate towards those who are more familiar to them, the folks who come in again and again. While this is only natural, your regulars are already drinking the Kool Aid. They don’t need to be persuaded to buy what you sell; they’re already connected to your brand and team.
The first timers deserve your full your attention. You need to make a concerted effort to connect with these new guests… The ones who have a 1 under “number of visits.” These are the people you need to win over, to delight and satisfy with your food, beverages and unique experience. These are the folks you need to connect with and get to know. These are the ones who are future regulars…your job is to transform them into friends and allies in your business. The question is how?
The answer is through practicing hospitality.
Speaking with strangers is not easy, it takes practice and it takes will. When you approach a stranger it can be intimidating, nerve-wracking and even downright scary for some. While we are always seeking “people people” to work the front lines of service, we must recognize that our service team has a hard job ahead: representing the brand to dozens of strangers, over and over through the span of a shift.
The best way to increase your employees’ comfort in speaking to strangers is by warming them up. Speaking to strangers is a muscle and it is a strength: it gets stronger and better with use. When I first started in the industry, I was terribly shy and reserved so it took a while for me to gain confidence speaking with new people. This is still an active pursuit; I’m not naturally comfortable speaking with strangers even after all these years! But it is a muscle I have built and can rely on in many areas of my life.
As a restaurant manager your job is to actively get your team warmed up for service and ready to extend hospitality to your guests. This means greeting your team members with a smile, making small talk, asking how they are doing; actively engaging them in conversation. The pre-service meeting is a great place to prepare your team for the job ahead. Ask them questions, invite them to share what they know about the restaurant or menu and definitely ask everyone to recite the specials out loud. This exercise, saying the specials out loud, will inevitably be met with groans and resistance. However, it is a great way to share the information as a group. And, because everyone has to do it, it is democratizing and unites your individual employees as a team.
Part of the warm-up must also be physical. The welcoming gestures of hospitality must also be present in the greeting and approach otherwise this first moment of speaking with strangers will seem false; ingenuine. Get your team to practice smiling, using open body language (arms at sides or in front, not in pockets or behind the back), eye contact, and warm tones in their vocal language. Remind them it’s not what they say as much as how they say it; their sense of hospitality will be fully expressed in the body language they choose to use.
You can also do some fun games such as ice breakers or the telephone game. These exercises get your team members talking, laughing, and engaging with one another. This raises their energy and their connection to one another which primes them for interacting with their regulars and new guests.
Talking to strangers is a muscle to be built and as the leader of the operation it’s your job to make sure your team has strong hospitality muscles. So warm them up and help them focus on the most important people in your business: the strangers who are new to it. These are the first timers who, when shown gracious hospitality, will surely return as regulars.
