15 Years of Yes, No, and Trusting My Gut
Years ago, in January of 2007, if someone had said to me: “get ready, in the next 15 years you’ll become a consultant, executive coach, author and speaker,” I would have said, “that sounds great, but how will that all come to life?”
At that time I was working as the restaurant director at a now defunct restaurant and was not loving it. I had a vision for myself that I was meant to be a leader and go up the ladder but, at that point, there wasn’t a logical next step for me to take in that organization…up or otherwise. I had always harbored a desire to write a book but couldn’t fathom what story I could create or share. And I was loosely acquainted with the idea of executive coaching but had never experienced it first hand. In my role running the restaurant I had opportunities to put myself in front of a group and share my ideas and vision, but become a speaker? That had never entered my mind.
Now that I am at the 15-year milestone in my career, I have the advantage of looking back and assessing the “how’s” of the equation. Just how does a restaurant manager become all these things and wear all these hats confidently and with great enthusiasm and joy? When I boil it down, here’s the 5 essential things that helped me get from A to B; the mindsets that were crucial to my success and essential to finding my way to the present day:
Say Yes
One thing I learned early on in starting a new business that was based on my experience in hospitality, was that saying “yes” opened doors to things I never could have imagined. I said yes to working with failing brands, to collaborating with tricky owners, and to doing things I had never done before (open a resort in the Caribbean, create a training program for a supermarket, speak in front of 2,000 people.) And each experience taught me a valuable lesson (or lessons) in how I work, what I stand for, and how I like to do business.
Then Start to Say No
After a while you learn a lot about how you work, what you stand for and how you like to do business, and that’s where “no” come in. “No” can serve to protect your time, your reputation, your integrity, and your dignity. Sometimes you don’t need to work with certain people, on certain projects, at a certain time. The math doesn’t work. So “no” helps you stay focused on what is most important to you at that specific time. Creating space for what is invigorating, inspiring and challenging to your mind and capabilities.
Follow your Instincts:
Your insticts are there to guide you and shape your choices. For instance, I had always known I wanted to teach so when I saw an ad seeking a restaurant management instructor I jumped on it. Did I have experience teaching? Not really. But my gut told me: “this will work, you just have to learn how.” And it was right…I worked for 14 years at ICE and am now a trainer in my own business, and this all came about because I listened to my gut and followed my instincts. Trying new things is your gut saying “yes” and one of the most inspiring phrases I know is “let’s try.” It speaks of possibility…a possibllity to learn, grow and evolve.
Question your Ego:
I once took a gig because A. the project seemed interesting and B. the owners had fired the previous consultant, a nationally known figure in the business. I thought to myself, “wow, this gig is right up my alley….I’m sure I can do better than that guy.” That was my ego talking; I was eager to prove I could do what a more experienced pro hadn’t been able to. That project was an undeniable quagmire of bad choices, and, while I learned a lot, the writing had been on the wall: stay away. But my ego prevented me from seeing the obvious: this owner wasn’t interested in outside help or opinions. Since then, I question my ego: why am I jumping in here? Do I think I can be the hero? Do I think I can change something that is fixed? If that even registers on my radar I know it’s ego talking. And she’s not always working on my best behalf.
Enunciate Your Vision
What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? It’s important to talk about it to your closest people. I talked about my business before I had it set up; I talked about my book before I had written a word; I spoke about becoming a speaker without having done it yet. Stating my vision for myself with trusted friends and making my intentions clear did two things: 1. It clarified my vision for myself by stating and refining it, and 2. it allowed others to help me bring it to life (I met have the most impactful people in my business through my close friends and colleagues). The same is true of achieving your dreams…nothing happens in a vacuum, big visions come to life with many little pushes in the right direction.
These are just 5 pieces of the puzzle…..there are many things to impart and many more pieces I’m still working on, honing and creating awareness of. Creating a career you enjoy is an intentional act; it takes fortitude, patience, belief, and desire to achieve what you envision for yourself. At the end of the day, it’s about finding something that you’re good at and doing something that you love…you’ll be working on it daily so bringing love to what you do it makes all the difference…in the world and in your life.
Thanks to everyone who has been alongside me on this journey….here’s to 15 more years, working, collaborating, exploring, and enjoying every little thing that comes our way!
